I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
I'm beginning to worry if I might be a living zombie.
Zombies are technically dead right? They move but it's just a dead body.
So their dead. Put it into sense. Living zombie. It makes perfect sense.
Yea I don't feel anything anymore. It's hard for me to comprehend what I'm feeling to my actions, when there is nothing really I'm feeling.
I guess it's true what they say, you live for the pain.
The pain makes you feel alive. It lets you know you're living in a sense of LIVING.
Does that make sense?
I don't even feel hurt anymore, and that scares me a little.
Am I becoming heartless? That's the last thing I want.
Well I do feel feelings but it's not as strong as it used to be.
As if I'm becoming immune to everything. I know pain/hurt is bad, but sometimes we need it. It's kinda like drugs but have the exact opposite effect.
Not that I'm addicted. Because if I can't even feel hurt or pain as strong as it used to be, how can I feel happiness as much as I used to. Get it?
It bothers me. I don't want to live this life numb. But that doesn't mean I want to be what I was almost a year ago lol. Somewhere in between would be nice.
I guess I'm good now. I'm just worried that things would be worse in time.
It's time for me to take control. I laughed, I lived, I loved....physically.
Look on the bright side. My favorite band used to be My Chemical Romance and now it's Switchfoot and that says something. I grew up. Even if it meant only a little.
MCR who dwells about life and expecting death and shit. Don't lie to me and say it doesn't say something. I still like them though but not as my favorite anymore.
This might be crazy to say but I think Switchfoot has helped me becoming a much better person. Really.
ps; I'm seriously considering the existence of zombies since the rumors about the disease beginning to spread.
